If you’ve been online recently, you may have seen a few morning routines presented to you as the height of discipline.
They’re pseudo-optimized nonsense.
At best, pseudo-optimized routines are performance art or elaborate kabuki that is not intended to be replicated. At worst, they make those not matching their ‘level of commitment’ feel like failures. Or they increase neuroticism by leading people to feel the need to reinvent and up their game with more complex routines.
And yet, when you critically view pseudo-optimized routines, you realize they are all quite sad: people film themselves in the early hours of the morning mouth-taping, cold-plunging, and micro-needling completely alone save for the indifferent blinking of a record button.
No friends. No family. No pets. No greatness or performance or meaningful work on anything other than executing a routine itself.
What is the point of having the greatest morning routine if its adherence means you cannot maintain or cultivate relationships? If it leaves you sleep-deprived? If you aren’t great at anything else?
A good life involves meaningful work and relationships, not dunking one’s face into a bowl of ice water at 5 AM. There is no Olympics for adhering to the most complex routine. The entire point of a routine is to set you up for success on something else. It’s a means to an end, not an end in itself. (Unless your goal is to be the best online influencer at making morning routine content.)
But let’s not throw the baby out with the bathwater. None of this is to say routines aren’t important; they are! We are huge believers (and practitioners) in routines. We live in a crazy and chaotic world, and routines help. But there’s military adherence to a performance–like routine, and then there are realistic routines that are sustainable amidst the messiness of real adult life.
Routines should:
- Help you activate when you are feeling low.
- Keep you grounded when you are bursting with energy.
- Automate decisions to save willpower.
- Prime you to perform at your best and get into the zone.
- Support focus, consistency, discipline, patience and confidence.
- Be sustainable.
- Alleviate stress and tension, not cause it.
Simplifying is great, and the opposite of the performative nonsense you see online. You shouldn’t work for your routine; your routine should work for you.
For example, on an average day, I (Brad) wake up and make coffee; shoot for 45-90 minutes of physical activity; two hours of deep focus on meaningful work; a walk outside at some point during the day; family dinners; and not fighting my natural chronotype, which has me in bed most nights before 10 PM. I’m far from perfect, but given my work and family life, it’s a generally achievable good day.
In terms of morning routines in particular, if we’re being totally honest, outside of stumbling to the coffee machine, making a cup of joe, and trying to do an hour or so of deep work, neither of us really have morning routines. And yet, somehow, even without 19 protocols, we’ve managed to marry incredible women, father great kids, stay in decent health, and write five books that have sold nearly a million copies, all before the age of 40. It’s not meant to be a humble brag. We certainly aren’t alone. Whenever we talk or write about routines, it’s always the most successful and well-adjusted people who laugh at the performative nonsense. When Brad posted something about the absurdity of internet routine content on Instagram, the strongest agreement came from Olympic champions, successful entrepreneurs, and professional musicians.
This just goes to show, the goal isn’t to be the world champion of complex routines. The goal is to be great at what you care about in your life. For us, it’s being good dads and husbands, writing well, and coaching.
Your guideposts and cadence will almost certainly be different. Unlike what you see in performative online routines, there is no single best routine. It’s a moving target, and you’ve got to find what works for you. But the broad menu of ingredients for effective routines—supporting consistency with movement, sleep, relationships, deep-focus work, and meaning—is aligned with decades of research on what leads to health, longevity, and flourishing.
It’s also important to accept that sometimes you’ll need to release from your routine. Life is messy. You can’t be too rigid. What enables you to be rugged and consistent over the long haul is your ability to be flexible and adaptable in the short haul.
The three rules of routines:
- Do what you can to uphold them.
- Release from them when life demands it.
- Don’t let rule number two become a chronic excuse for rule number one.
In a world rife with chaos and complexity, it’s crucial to develop a few anchors that foster stability, predictability, and strength. This is the value of routines. But like so much else in modern life, don’t be fooled by the pseudo-version. Focus on the real, not the performative. Your routine doesn’t have to be fancy. It needs to be effective.
– Brad and Steve
