The world is crazy, but then again, it always has been. Perhaps we feel it more acutely in our current era because we are so connected to everyone and everything, and because so many of the “digital town squares” that promised to bring us together and uplift us have sunken to the lowest common denominator and monetized division and divisiveness. In any case, if you feel like you are struggling to stay grounded and focused right now, you aren’t alone.
Here are some some ideas and practices from Master of Change that can help. For those of you who have read the book, hopefully these serve as a useful and timely reminder. For those who haven’t, if you want to go deeper you can pick up a copy here.
First: Adopt a Mindset of Tragic Optimism
Tragic optimism is a mindset that maintains hope and finds meaning despite life’s inescapable pain, loss, and suffering. Research shows people who adopt tragic optimism respond better to challenges and stress.
Instead of placing toxic positivity on a pedestal or falling prey to doom loops, nihilism, and despair, embrace tragic optimism. Accept reality for what it is, but also do everything possible to maintain hope. There are always going to be parts of life that are hard and disappointing. And yet, it’s also pretty remarkable that we are even here to begin with. Tragic optimism creates space for all of this. If we want to improve a broken world then it is important that we don’t become broken people.
Second: Create Daily and Weekly Anchors
Daily and weekly anchors are the routines and rituals that help to keep us grounded amidst chaos. Examples include a daily walk or run, brewing a morning coffee, lighting an evening candle, going to church on Sunday (or watching football with your friends), and so on. Even simple routines provide a sense of predictability and stability in an inherently uncertain world.
Do what you can to develop a few daily and weekly anchors in your own life. When the world feels big, complex, and uncertain, having a few smaller activities that are within your control goes a long way to help.
Third: Respond not React
Responding not reacting is about creating space to bring your best self to whatever life throws your way.
When you react you panic and pummel ahead (and often regret it). When you respond you pause, process, plan, and only then proceed—and you are generally proud of yourself for it. Many philosophers have said that the space between stimulus and response is where our freedom, and our humanity, lies.
If you find yourself getting triggered or frenzied, think respond not react. Take a deep breath. Label your emotions, which helps you shift from being caught up in them to observing them. Do what you can to separate what is in your control from what is not in your control, and focus on the latter. And then move forward as best you can.
Fourth: Stay Consistent on What You Care About
Consistency is about showing up, day in and day out. It is a commitment to stay in the game, even when it’s hard. When you identify with consistency—when it is simply something you do, when it becomes part of who you are—you gain strength and fortitude.
Think of a handful of activities in your life that matter to you, and commit to consistency on those things, regardless of what is happening around you.
Fifth: Use Behavioral Activation
Behavioral activation is the tool that supports a commitment consistency. It says that you don’t need to feel good to get going; you need to get going to give yourself a chance at feeling good. It accepts that you’ll experience a whole range of emotions—motivation, inspiration, fear, overwhelm, apathy—and that you can take them along for the ride, with equal parts grace and grit.
If you find yourself feeing down and overwhelmed, that’s okay. It happens to all of us. Accept what you’re feeling and just get started. You won’t always feel better, but sometimes you will. This is what giving yourself a chance is all about.
Sixth: Be Rugged and Flexible
Rugged flexibility is a mindset that combines being durable, tough, and determined with being soft, supple, and adaptable. It’s about knowing your core values, the hills that you’ll die on, and then pushing yourself to adapt, evolve, and grow at the same time.
Your core values are a source of strength and stability; they are the ground on which you stand. When you know your values, you gain a sense of freedom and security to embrace change and chaos, because you can use your values to help you trudge a path forward. (For more on identifying and using your values, along with everything else above, check out Master of Change!)
The world will always be crazy. Hopefully the ideas above can help you stay sane and show up at your best on the things that matter to you most.
— Brad
